Please Excuse Me For a Moment.

Often I have the urge to write. It’s where I go when I don’t want to go anywhere else. Often I sit down just like I am now with no direction; mind racing in thirty-two directions, my thoughts crashing into imaginary walls as I watch from afar and judge their motives. Full moon tendencies are on a high tonight in my veins. I can see the full moon across the room through the window, six floors above the late night streets of downtown Toronto. Oh hey, werewolves. I just blanked. So I opened pinterest and the first quote I saw (no joke) was this… “To make the right choices in life you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of because in the silence you hear the truth and know the solutions.” Shh. I’m not afraid of that. I crave the challenge or the truth. What about you? And why did I see that right now…

Now what… dot dot dot…

You know what is refreshing? Reading the true tales of humans. The icky parts. The imperfect race through it all. Just lay it on the line. Because you feel so called ‘normal’. Being in the new age social media scene eats at me sometimes. (How’s that for true tales…) I adore it. I adore the sharing and creativity and artistry of it. I adore seeing the highs of fellow acquaintances and strangers. I enjoy cheering them on from my smartphone. I also adore being raw. Being real. Blurred lines. I enjoy truth.

And so I leave this raw, blurry note with not much direction or purpose but I leave on a high because I have an outlet to be real (with possible judgement) and I’m okay with that. Risk is an addiction. I hope you trust that you’re wonderful enough, no blurred lines, to do the same. -k

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“Don’t let someone dim your light simply because it’s shining in their eyes.”

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Full Moon Fuel.

I woke up with anxiety that made my heart feel like I was playing in the NBA finals. I blame the full moon. Watch out for werewolves. But honestly, I do believe that astrological effects are legit. So I went to yoga because it’s one of my go-to’s when it comes to calming the heck down.

And my teacher read this poem and everything made sense. That’s all I need to say. It’s so raw and real and wildly right. So I share it with you. Ache for something. Goodnight. -k

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, ‘Yes.’

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

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‘Fear can keep us up all night but faith makes one fine pillow.’

Something ’bout Simplicity.

“It’s the little things, but they all add up.”

I sprinkle that mesh of words into scenarios frequently. Because I am a big believer and lover of simplicity. Sure, I absolutely adore the big brimmed hat the shy girl on the corner of Yonge Street is sporting but it’s the way the hat tips and her coat sits and where her purse hits that makes for stronger pictures. Stronger feelings. Everything is art. 

I like messy beds and over worn pyjamas. I like the wild silence on the subway in a car full of fifty strangers. I like uneven footprints in the snow and melting flakes on eyelashes that make your mascara run. I like aged cracks in the pavement and a paper bag caught in the gutter from someone’s lunch. I like worn out edges of over read novels and fingerprints on the car window. I like holes in t-shirts and the sound of coffee brewing at 8am. I like imperfect smiles, frown lines and scars with stories. I like how you look at me. I like empty wine glasses on the counter from the night before and newspapers on the train seat next to you that have been touched by numerous hands. I like water stains on the bathroom mirror and cloudy airplane trails in the sky. I like how you make me feel. I like the souls sense of serendipity and the touch of a first dance. I like blueberry stains on my fingers and the morning after nose scrunch of a too-many-drinks text. I like the lipstick stains on coffee cups and the sound of a key in the lock after a long day. I like you.

Everything is art. -k

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‘The simple things are the most extraordinary things and only the wise can see them.’

Frozen Movements.

What do you do when you feel you’re due for a little bit of too good to be true? Does it push you forward or push you away? Does it fuck with your freedom?

I had a couple of comfort convos today about just that. Finding the freedom and hidden fabulous of tough times. There’s a glow of greatness in absolutely everything that falls at your feet or in front of your face. I do believe that. Even when it shakes up your sensitive soul. I also believe that it takes the continuation of life’s great dance to make believing it a habit as oppose to just head filled hopes. Time is a blessing. And the transitions that two-step there way into your life are a blessing.

I’ve really rambled about life alot lately. Sometimes I don’t even know if my rants make sense but they make sense to me. Four years ago I felt one of those transitions. At the time I had been frozen for years. Life offered me it’s hand and said dance with me a new way. I didn’t expect to continue experiencing the transitions as much as I have but I almost get high off of them. Maybe I look for them and that’s why I notice them. I can’t wait for them, even when they’re challenging, because they’ve only brought me freedom. And I full out love a good challenge. Even if it took a minute or a day or months for the transition to mold me and make me realize why it spun me to the right. Because it was right. And I was left to be better. I challenge you to accept them in all forms. -k

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‘Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere and sometimes in the middle of nowhere you find yourself.’

Life Observations from the Peanut Gallery.

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Please excuse me if I don’t talk too much, it’s loud enough in my head.

Mama asked me today if I was happy. I said yes. And I wish that for everyone and I don’t want to lose it. And it’s taken me some time to find the place where the madness and the mellow meet. Where they mold into magical type moments with the people who love like you do. Stay away from people who make you feel like you’re hard to love. Don’t say maybe if you want to say no. Balance hard work and wild nights wisely. They’re both equally necessary for guided growth and gratitude. Stop the analytical archery and listen to your intuitive heart; it always knows what’s best for your next steps and say somethings. Be the same person privately, publically and personally. The mesh of the meetings brought me happiness. I don’t make new years resolutions. The new year just reminds me to work on the ‘what I want to do’s’ that rumble through my head until I silence them with success. Baby steps beat the ‘but I wish I had’s’. Put the good energy that touches you to good use, it’s hard to find. Enjoy the damn good deep dark dreary dense delicate delicious daring doable dreamy damn good ride. I wish that for you. Here’s to new year good things, darlings/dudes. -k

‘In the end there doesn’t have to be someone who understands you… there just has to be someone who wants to.’ – Robert Brault

You Mustn’t Be Afraid to Sparkle a Little Brighter, Darling.

Look at this stunner! This piece was created by the oh so talented Nuno Rocha, a jewelry designer based out of Toronto. He contacted me with an amazing opportunity to co-design a piece of jewelry that was 110% Kat to wear in my everyday shuffle through the Raptors world. And heck ya, I said okay. We decided to focus on a hand piece because there is always a mic attached to my right hand and it adds an extra touch of personality and sparkle to the camera frame. I have very simple taste when it comes to jewelry so the lines remained light even on such a statement piece. It was fun to mix both yellow and white gold because I often wear both; I don’t favour one to the other. And it turned out incredibly. I am absolutely in love with this piece. It’s 110% Kat. Nuno always preaches that he designs and builds his pieces to mould perfectly into the personality and the lifestyle of the customer. Definitely touch base with him if you’re looking to sparkle a little brighter, darling. -k

The Diamond Studio

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