She’s a Mess of Gorgeous Chaos.

 

So, I lay my head on my pillow and as I stared at the ceiling, tired as anything from the days emotions and twisted reality, I realized that I wasn’t creatively finished with the day. So I poured myself a glass of wine, turned on my laptop and let other peoples words guide me. I added a beautiful camera to my creative family this week. It’s my eye candy right now, sleeping on the table in front of me, making me restless about future dates. Pinterest is my escape between work tales and daily endeavours. So here are other peoples words that I’ve pinterest’ed recently because I relate. And then my pillow will get me back. -k

Things may come to those who wait, but only things left by those who hustle.

I like these no track of time and no reason for it type of days. The world around you keeps dancing in circles but your world slows right down. Let’s you think. Pretty much makes you think. In my social media world I know alot of people through text and type and tweets but have never stood in their physical space. I ran into one of those people recently when I was leaning on the bar in my long weekend state of mind. Bartender passed me my vodka water and pointed down the bar saying that he’s got your drink. A facebook friend chance meeting. Ah, the way the world has changed. I admire your hustle is the saying that’s sticky in my mind from our conversation.

So what happens when someone or something knocks at your hustle? Makes you second guess your mapped out motives? You can call life a game with goals and penalities in matters of the mind, career, relationships, self identity and status. You can win or lose.

Failure is one of my biggest fears. Regret? I don’t believe that this word has a place in my life anymore. Because you have to take risks to find your forever. I’d rather try and fail then regret not trying at all.

I had a moment this week when ‘shit got hard’. When you need to let go but you can’t because in that hopeful corner of your heart you’re still waiting for the impossible to happen. When you’re between somewhere and nowhere but never standing still. When ‘it’ shows up, comes without a phone call, spins you in circles and then continues along. From highs to lows. When it’s all cupcakes and lollipops until someone pukes.

I’m a big 11:11 advocate as my social media amigos know. So when the clock struck those delicious digits and I was setting in on wishful thinking I realized that these wishes tell you where your heart is. And what you want. And what you should not let anyone knock at.

And then a person I know through text and type and tweets but have never stood in their physical space sent me this fortune cookie find from his lunch time escape.

“Things may come to those who wait but only things left by those who hustle.”
And the smart mind behind these words? Abraham Lincoln.

So with that tickling of motivation the game goes on. Cause if I didn’t face my fears I wouldn’t be where I’m at. Simple as that. -k


The only thing standing between greatness and me is… me. -Woody Allen

I honestly think it’s better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate. -George Burns

Do what you feel in your heart to be right for you’ll be criticized anyway. -Eleanor Roosevelt

If people don’t occasionally walk away from you shaking their heads,
you’re doing something wrong. -John Gierach

It’s all about the ABC’S.

I hung up my dance shoes about a year ago to put focus on the microphone because of new opportunities handed to me. The way life sorts itself out in front of your feet is always an interesting sight. And now over these past few months I have been back on the dance floor because of new opportunities. It’s where I started this journey and I need it in my life.

I spent the entire week on set for a project for The Weeknd’s new tour with some incredible women who I admire for their confidence, style and grace. The dance scene knocks at your pride with a daily dose of judgement as you work towards perfection, not only in the steps and style but in the silhouette seen through the lens. The measurements and muscle. The inches fading up and out. Blunt? Absolutely. Reality? Like you wouldn’t believe. Here and there I get asked how I approach this glamour game and it’s been buzzing quite a bit this week. And it brings me back to something I wrote the last time it sing-songed in the air around me…

It’s all about the ABC’s

February. The month of the groundhog and cupid. The cold nips at your heels and you hit snooze fourteen times before you run to the heat of the shower in the AM. You eat two out of three of your meals in the dark and they probably consist of comfort foods like Mom’s killer macaroni and cheese recipe from your childhood. It’s winter, folks! And the only ones smart enough to hide from the elements are the bears.

I won’t lie. I’ve been in hibernation mode for the past four days. I made it as far as loading new songs onto my iPod in hopes it would give me a motivational kick in the butt to boogie over to the gym. But the -25C windchill puffed out its chest and won. I drank my hot chocolate and marshmallows, ignored that tick of guilt and quietly hummed the winter blues.

Happily adding more marshmallows to my cup of cocoa, I clicked over to Facebook. Raptors lose unlucky 13, storm brews harder in the GTA and a message. Hey Katherine. 

A blast from the past. A former student. Now taller than me, a fiercer dancer than me, pursuing that “I want to dance forever” dream she used to talk about in tap class. And getting hit hard by the reality of the business. After a certain point it’s the complete package that clears that next hurdle. It’s what they see when you walk into that audition room that counts.

“What’s your motivation? What’s your secret? What gets your body in the game when your mind says no and vice versa?”

My heart sinks a bit every time the ‘reality of the biz’ swims past me. But it is reality. An evil shark sized reality. And it’s something you need to accept when you decide to follow your dream. That was my first step. So I typed back ACCEPTANCE.

The night before two friends and I were having dinner and over our spinach dip and chips the same topic came up at the table. I’m not perfect. I drink too much coffee and don’t get my eight glasses of water everyday. I eat Doritos when I’m sad and ice cream when I’m happy. And I walk confidently onto that basketball court in a Raptors splashed half top because I now know the meaning of BALANCE. But it took me four years in the professional world, three years in theatre school and many ups and downs to figure it out. Listen to your body, don’t deprive yourself because life is too good for that and on those low days remember how great you feel in spirit when you take care of you.

I was cleaning out my closet and I found an old journal from my theatre school days and splashed across the first page was the saying “CONFIDENCE is beautiful”. It’s not something that is easy to find and hold on to tightly when you’re knocked down daily for your artistic imperfections. And it comes with growth. But when I started believing in myself (I’m at about 94.7% of the time) I started pursuing and conquering bigger hills.

Everybody does it differently. Acceptance, Balance and Confidence. I figured out my equation and I work on my ABC’S. The ‘S’ is for SUPPORT. I told her she has mine. -k

Extraordinary Mind.

I do not care what car you drive. Where you live. If you know someone who knows someone who knows someone. If your clothes are this years cutting edge. If you are A list or B list or never heard of you list. If your trust fund is unlimited. I only care about the words that flutter from your mind. They are the only thing you own. The only thing I will remember you by. I will not fall in love with your bones or skin. I will not fall in love with the places you have been. I will not fall in love with anything but the words that flutter from your extraordinary mind. – Andre Jordan