At 4:43am we talked about regret and I said I don’t regret any motives, moments or mentions because as fucked up as some of them can be they all lead to that victorious goodness that’s somewhere soon. I keep catching it staring at me but then it disappears again.
If you could do one thing right at this moment and know that you would not fail, what would it be?
Sometimes the challenge of being patient is a painful thing that I serve to myself. Currently in the middle of a phase and doing very well according to my personal patience meter.
I have an addiction of putting myself in movie type scenarios. Minus the chair with my name on it and the bank account and the Vera Wang gown. I don’t think I try to get there half of the time. Never really. Life just takes me there. Insert Sinatra’s “that’s life” mantra.
And sometimes I produce these role played scenarios in my mind. Just like the carefree five-year old in her mama’s pearls, sitting at her tea party and asking the wind if he’d like extra sugar as she stirs. They’re my desires and ice cream hopes without the selfish extra scoop because the world doesn’t have a hint. And then days go by and I’m suddenly immersed within my imaginary tales. Leading lady. Mama always tells me to write down what I want to happen. Maybe she’s right. And I don’t know who to thank. So if you’re in this moment with me… watching, reading, kicking me in the ass… mucho thanks. -k
It’s not the destination, it’s the journey.